I showed up at my first day of work this morning thinking I was going to be helping animals. Instead I was hit in the back with a chair because the ref wasn’t paying attention. WWF.
Tried to say “!*@#” at work today, but a bunch of symbols came out of my mouth instead. FCC.
Drank about a gallon and a half of cranberry juice. Still hurts when I pee. UTI.
I’ve spent 80% of this morning in the bathroom. Makes me wonder if last night was worth it. MGD.
I went to a singles bar tonight, but all the women were acting surprisingly distant. I did meet a few cool guys though… they didn’t seem to let those self-involved women bother them too much. YMCA.
Today at work, I authorized an invasion of Cuba to destroy communist missiles. Did not go as planned. JFK
My girlfriend was acting really weird lately and it turns out it’s because her dad got laid off and she couldn’t afford to go to prom. So I had to bail on all my friends and throw her her own personal “prom” at a picnic table outside the gym. SBTB.
Today I got so lost on my way home from work. And then out of no where they just up and decided to turn the road into a sidewalk. DWI.
The New Kids on the Block had a bunch of hits, but, ugh, chinese food makes me so sick. LFO.
Went to visit my TA during office hours to argue back some point on my Math exam but he refused. QED.
